Vulnerability has been a hot topic in recent times, especially with the raw authenticity and powerful messages of Brené Brown. I have to admit, when I first started working with my own vulnerability it was scary as fuck! I had to show up in a certain way and speak more of my truth.. and for a woman who had spent 30+ years trying to “not be a burden” it was excruciating.
I’m happy to admit that in the past 2 years, I have let more of my own authenticity, vulnerability and truth into the world than I had in all the years prior. I’ve created space to be more vulnerable with my friends, my partner and in my work, and it has been so fucking liberating to share these truths. But in this moment I’m questioning whether I have really ever been truly vulnerable?
And don’t get me wrong- sharing my truth, telling my stories and allowing myself to show emotion in front of others is a HUGE tick for vulnerability. But I’ve started noticing all of the ways that I could be MORE vulnerable.
I’ve opened up and talked about what I am experiencing in life, sharing my emotions and showing my “realness” but it’s always with the premise that I know what to do. It comes with the story- "I understand the mechanisms of my mind, I know what strategies to take, I can work it out and I’m actually fine!" (*Nothing to see here people*)
For years, I’ve had this mask of self sufficiency. Of being able to navigate my own healing, expansion and truth. Of wanting my clients, my friends and my family to think that I’ve mostly got my shit together. I mean I have to, to be able to do the work that I do, don't I? But, in reality, I’m just like everyone else. I’m learning, I’m growing and I’m unraveling the layers and masks that have kept me in perceived safety.
And I wonder... how can I truly be vulnerable if I don’t actually let anyone help me?
This is where the next level of vulnerability exists for me. In the sharing of my truth and sometimes admitting that I don’t know what next. I don’t know how to move beyond this and I’d really like some help; a listening ear or perhaps some tangible support.
This doesn’t take away from our power to be fully sovereign beings, being able to choose our path, our beliefs and how we feel at any given time. But it does open us up to being more receptive. And when we ask for support, we have the power to ask for what form of support would be best in that moment.
One of the most life-changing moments for me was when I called a friend and asked her to just hold space for me to express my feelings, without taking anything on, or providing any feedback. I just needed a safe place to talk something out loud and it was the most beautiful experience we’d had together. (Me asking for support, being able to verbalise what I needed and her finally being able to provide it). She asked me if I was open to hearing a reflection, and because I knew it was coming from a higher place than her own thoughts, I was able to choose to say yes. It was exactly what I needed and I was able to heal some old beliefs with way more efficiency than if I tried to do it alone.
This interaction is an example of one of the many ways we have full sovereignty within our experiences. We can always choose if we want to be vulnerable and how we wish to be supported within that. But we can also invite in more surrender to the process. Some of the biggest transformations come with just letting go. So, I’m also inviting in more receptivity within that framework. The universe has a vast amount of ways to get it’s message across and sometimes it comes in the reflections, or words of others.
And so I’m opening more and more to this receptivity. Becoming more receptive of support, of the inspiration and of course of the universal guidance that shows up in so many ways, when I’m willing to listen. I have also opened up to more of my vulnerability and actually asked for tangible help from a number of people as I move through the many transitions that are taking place in my life. Wow- go me!!
I share my process in the hopes that we can rise in our own vulnerability together. And I applaud your courage in taking steps in your own process.
Vulnerability is an ever-evolving process and every step is worth celebrating!
How has vulnerability shaped your life?
Where are you in terms of your own vulnerability now?
Is there room for some more growth?
Are you able to acknowledge yourself for the wins and the realisations?